


Thinking Out Loud

by cuddlingqueen



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Jealousy, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-22 12:03:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3728233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddlingqueen/pseuds/cuddlingqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caitlin winds up at Barry’s house and sees Barry and Linda making out through the window. She gets a little jealous. Takes place during 1x13.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ed Sheeran has been on the mind lately, hence the title. A longgg time ago, an anon requested some jealous!snowbarry. Sorry for the wait! Again, I’ve been very busy with school/work this semester, so I haven’t been writing much these last 2 months unfortunately. I fudged a couple canon things for the fic. Cisco is on the stakeout with Wells, not Caitlin.

Caitlin never really understood walking.

That is, she never really understood why people walked for fun, or to get somewhere, or even just to clear their heads. But she decided to give it a try anyway.

This particular night may not have been her best choice. It was drizzling outside and there was a big, dark cloud looming over the city. At this point though, she was willing to try anything.

They had been working on finding Firestorm for days now, and they were finally getting close. Caitlin knew she could get some insight into his head if she tried. She just needed to think.

Caitlin was pretty proud of herself though; throughout this whole ordeal, she had managed to keep it together pretty well. Yes, she had vocalized her opinions about him, but she hadn’t broken down. Mainly it was because she simply didn’t have the _time_ to cry. She figured eventually she would though.

But she didn’t want that time to be now. She had a moment to finally think quietly yes, but their mission was far from over.

After a good amount of walking, she wound up at the intersection of Liberty St. and 17th. It was the first major intersection she’d hit in a good 10 minutes. She was jostled out of her daydream. She had been walking on autopilot this whole time. Now she had a choice to make.

_Which way?_

She decided that Liberty St. sounded better. She hurried across the street, only getting minimal water in her heels.

After a few houses, she felt like something was off. Something about the street, or the neighborhood, or... She couldn’t quite figure it out. _Had she been there before?_ She tried to remember the last time she had ventured this far outside of the city… Barry. She gasped. It was familiar.

The last time she was here was when the Wests invited her over for Christmas. This was Barry’s neighborhood. Her heart rate doubled, suddenly aware of how close she was to becoming a stalker. _What number was he?_ She looked at the numbers down the street: 1732, 1738… 1744. That was it.

She was much too close. She turned around and headed back the way she came, half running. She would’ve galloped if it weren’t for her heels. After a short distance, she paused. _Why was she running away?_ So she was in his neighborhood. Who cares? She was just out for a walk. It was a perfectly reasonable explanation. He would understand. How likely was it that she would run into him anyway?

Maybe Barry could even help her. They had bounced ideas off of each other before, often with great success. She thought about it logically; two minds were better than one. Maybe all she needed was a friend.

Before she had even reached her decision, her feet were already heading back towards Barry’s house. When they started walking up the pathway to his house though, her heart almost stopped. She couldn't stop them even if she tried.

She stood in front of his door and reached her hand out to knock. She paused a moment, taking a breath before she did the unthinkable. She stared at the door, arm raised, slowly accepting her fate. She never noticed how nice their old wooden door was. She smiled at her odd train of thought and her eyes darted to the side as she let out a nervous laugh.

That’s when she saw him.

And Linda.

Her face dropped. She saw it all, shirts off, kissing, touching. She could see everything through just a small opening in the curtains.

This time, she did run.

She made it to the end of the driveway before her steps began to falter. She slowed her pace and continued another few houses down just to be safe.

Her breathing was erratic and she sat down on the curb strip to catch her breath. She pushed her hair out of her face. _Breathe Caitlin, breathe._ She shivered as the cold air filled her lungs and a few drops of rain began to hit her exposed shoulders.

Her head sank to rest on her knees. _Why did she come here?_ She knew it was a bad idea, and she knew Linda and Barry were having a date night, but somehow it had completely slipped her mind. Not that she cared. She and Barry were just friends. She simply didn’t want to interrupt his special night.

She certainly wasn’t a jealous person. If Barry was happy, she was happy for him.

 _♪_ _I got chills, they’re multiplying…_ _♪_

She fumbled in her purse for her phone. She quickly glanced at the caller before answering.

“Cisco! What’s up?”

“Cait, we got a sighting. I’ve been trying to reach Barry, but he’s not picking up his phone. I don’t suppose there’s any chance he’s standing right next to you, huh?”

In two seconds, Cisco managed to render her speechless. She knew he was joking, but he also had a weird way of hitting just the right nerve anyway.

“No, but I’ll see what I can do.”

Well, knocking on his door was definitely out of the question. She decided texting would be the best way to go.

“Firestorm.”

* * *

“I’m just worried about… moving too fast.”

“That’s okay, I _hate_ slow.”

Barry couldn’t believe that for the first time in a very, _very_ long time, he had a beautiful woman right on top of him, and all he could think about was work. His “work” at STAR Labs, that is. Every time he tried to think about something else, his mind kept drifting back.

_bzzt!_

And the pings coming from his phone…

_bzzt!_

…weren’t helping either.

Linda was determined to keep his attention though. She dragged her nails down his chest. He leaned back, arching into her touch.

“Oh…” He had leaned back just enough to see out the front window. Much to his surprise, he saw a figure outside. It looked just like… “Cait?”

Linda leaned back, mouth open. “Cait? I’m not _Cait_.”

He looked back at her, confused by her angry tone. For being the fastest man alive, it certainly took him a few seconds to catch up.

“Oh. Oh! No, no, that’s not… that’s not what _that_ sounded like. There’s…”

He pointed out the window, but there was no one outside. His face fell.

“There was someone there, I swear.”

“Yeah, I’d say anything to get outta that too. Ya know, I kinda figured _maybe_ there was something going on between Iris and you, and I trusted you when you said there wasn’t. But a third woman? Really?”

Before he could try to backpedal even more, his phone pinged again.

“I’m sorry I should check this, in case it’s an emergency.”

He rolled over to grab it and fell off the couch in the process. Linda raised her eyebrow.

He scrambled back up and finally reached his phone. There was a text from Caitlin. “Firestorm.”

There was no way he was getting another date after this. “I’m so sorry, it’s important.”

Linda shot him a look as he got up off the floor and searched for his shirt.

“Not that this isn’t important, it’s just that um, this other thing is _time_ sensitive.” There was a loud thump as Barry tripped up the step. “Otherwise, there’s no way that I would be leaving you.” He struggled to put on his shirt. “No one in their right mind would leave you.”

“Um, your shirt’s on backwards.”

“Oh, yeah I got it. I will text you, alright? No, I’ll call you. I’ll call you. Or how about I just do both, okay?” He finally managed to get both arms through his shirt.

She rose to her feet to face him. “You know what? Don’t bother. This was um, fun, but your love life is little too crowded for my taste.”

He started to walk towards her. “I am _so_ sorry…”

She held up a hand. “No.”

He stopped in his tracks. He opened his mouth to say more, but nothing came out. He just shook his head. She was right about one thing, his life was crowded. Juggling two identities was harder than he realized.

“Just promise me one thing. When you do actually get your life sorted out, commit to _one_ woman.”

Barry froze and stood up straight. She looked like the fate of the world hung in the balance on what he was going to say next.

He replied with a serious answer.

“I will.”

Satisfied her message had been received, she let him go.

“Goodbye, Barry.”

He gave her one last sympathetic look and ran out the door, slamming it behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got around to writing the next chapter! The first one was really just setup. This one a bit more angsty. I’m apologizing in advance about so many changes in viewpoints. I wanted to tell both sides of the story.

Caitlin arrived a few minutes after Barry to Dr. Stein’s house, but thankfully no one commented on it. They were so busy with Firestorm that Barry and Caitlin didn’t really have a chance to talk until after Ronnie and Dr. Stein left. The team decided to go to Jitters afterwards, with the exception of Dr. Wells, who stayed behind at the lab to finish up.

“I had Ronnie, then I lost him. Then I found him again, but it wasn’t actually Ronnie. Then, I got him back, but just for a day. Then I lost him again.”

“You guys are like, ten seasons of Ross and Rachel but just like, smooshed into one year.”

Barry snickered at Cisco, but he hid behind his coffee mug when Caitlin gave him an unamused glare.

“I am not heartbroken this time. I love Ronnie, I always will, but there’s not this devastating hole inside me. I have a life, and it’s a good one.”

“Here, here.” Barry raised his coffee mug and they all clanked together.

Cisco changed the subject. “So, Barry, how did your date go?”

Caitlin almost spat out her drink, but covered it up with the back of her hand. She was starting to feel lightheaded. Her day was already rough enough with the rollercoaster ride of Ronnie, she couldn’t sit through hearing how happy Barry was with Linda. Besides, she had seen it for herself.

“Anyone need a refill?”

They both shook their heads and she headed over to the counter. Barry followed her with concerned eyes and continued the conversation with Cisco.

“Uhh, not so well. She dumped me.”

“Ah, sorry buddy. What happened?”

Barry had a rule when it came to his friends: he could never lie.

“I may have said the wrong name.”

“ _Dude._ ”

“I know.”

“Well, maybe it’s for the best. I’m sure Iris will come around at some point.”

Cisco gave a quick glance to the bar and gave Iris a wave, and she gave a quick smile back before returning to making drinks. Barry cringed. He wasn’t lying by letting Cisco believe that. Besides, it’s not like it mattered what name he said; it wasn’t Linda’s.

He looked back at the bar, but Caitlin wasn’t there. His foot touched the floor as he pushed off of the bar stool and looked frantically around the crowd.

She was gone.

* * *

Caitlin set her drink down on the bar. She reached her hand up to her head and rubbed her temple. Iris made her way over to her.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little lightheaded. Where’s the ladies room?”

Iris pointed down the hallway next to the bar.

“Thanks.”

She darted into a group of people and disappeared down the hallway towards the bathroom. It was a single person room. She reached the door, knocked, and thankfully no one was inside.

She quickly stepped inside and locked the door. She let out a sigh and leaned her head against the door, causing a loud thud.

She didn’t know why she was so upset. Well, she did. But it wasn’t for the reasons she was thinking. Sure, Barry being happy while the love of her life had merged with another person, burst into flame, and flew off to figure out his life was a good reason, but she had never considered herself a jealous person. It was surprisingly a first for her. Even throughout med school, she had had good grades – top 10% of her class – but she was never jealous of her peers. She was happy for them. If Barry was happy, she should be happy for him.

Perhaps she had finally found her tipping point. Her work and personal life had crashed and burned monumentally. No pun intended.

There was a knock on the door. She cursed under her breath.

“Cailtin? You okay in there?”

It was Iris.

“Just a second!”

She hurried over to the mirror and saw that her mascara had run halfway down her face. She used her thumbs to wipe it away and fanned her eyes quickly to dry them. She straightened out her skirt and exhaled. She could do this.

She left the bathroom and hurried down the hallway, head down, past the couple people that were waiting in line for the bathroom. Iris followed after her.

“You were in there for quite a while, are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

Iris put her hand on Caitlin’s shoulder, which caused her to look up. Iris’s face fell as she saw her friend’s red eyes.

“… or maybe the better question is, are you sure you don’t want to talk about something?”

“Thanks, really, but I’d rather just put today behind me. I’ll be fine. Really.”

Iris shrugged and let it go.

“Well, someone’s gotta run this place.”

She gave Caitlin a reassuring smile and small squeeze of her arm before returned to the counter.

Caitlin looked back towards the table she had been sitting at. Barry was looking for her. She smiled at first, seeing him looking around like a lost prairie dog.

And then it hit her.

She couldn’t do this.

* * *

Barry walked into STAR Labs the next morning, refreshed and not the least bit drunk… unlike Cisco. Once they had given up the search for Caitlin, Cisco had talked him into trying out a few of the new bars on the eastside.

“Morning, partner.” Barry teased.

Cisco just groaned in response. His particularly favorite bar last night had been western themed, but that’s not why he liked it. No, he liked it because Cisco had tried to ride the mechanical bull. The key word being “tried.”

“I’ve got a bruise the size of Texas.”

Barry chuckled as he went over and looked at the computer screens to see what Cisco was up to. When he saw that there was no new activity, he decided to start the coffee pot for Caitlin. He was surprised she wasn’t at work yet; she was always there before him.

He came back with a cup of coffee in hand and saw Caitlin walking in.

“Morning! We missed you last night.” He said, rather chipper.

Caitlin mumbled out a “morning,” on the way to her desk.

Barry walked over to her and extended out the untouched cup of coffee.

“Just made it.”

“No, thanks.”

Without even turning around, Barry passed the coffee mug back to Cisco, sloshing it in the process. Cisco put it down on the desk and went into the other room to grab something to clean up the few drops that had spilled. Barry figured she left last night because she was tired or just didn’t feel like talking. He understood that. Now he knew it was something more. Caitlin without coffee wasn’t Caitlin at all.

“So, where’d you go last night?”

“Home.”

“I gathered, but you didn’t even say goodbye.”

“Do I have to report in now?”

“No, but– Caitlin, what’s gotten into you?”

His tone was so soft. He wasn’t accusatory; he was worried. She sighed and realized how rude she was being. Her shoulders relaxed and she turned to face him.

“Sorry, I’m just _really_ tired, okay? Can we talk about this some other time?”

Finally she gave him the smile he was waiting for, even if it was a little forced.

“Yeah, sure, of course. Just… one question. How’d you escape? Cisco and I never saw you leave.”

She chuckled. Barry had a way of turning an entire conversation around.

“A magician never reveals her secrets.”

Barry quirked a brow.

“Fine, I crawled out the bathroom window. Haven’t done that since high school.”

Barry looked more impressed than concerned.

“Well, I knew you didn’t like crowds, but…”

“Yeah, not my finest hour.” She scrunched her nose.

Cisco’s computer broke their quiet moment with a deafening noise and flashing lights. Barry and Caitlin covered their ears. Cisco rushed back into the room and turned off the alarm, stumbling on the step on the way down.

“Sorry! New alarm app. Cool, right?”

Caitlin rolled her eyes.

“There’s an app for that?” Barry shouted over the now non-existent noise.

And with that, they were onto the next case.


End file.
